Even and Odd Years

36 weeks left
17 weeks completed
10 weeks left until mid-tour leave
? pounds lost (I’m traveling and don’t have access to scales)
20 pounds total
14th months until the wedding

(I haven’t posted in a week and a half! Pretend that this went up on Sunday like it should have. I have been staying with my best friend as she gives birth to her second child. I’m babysitting the 3 year old while she and her husband bring into the world a glorious new little boy. So…yeah, I’ve been, pretty busy and writing just hasn’t been on the daily schedule.)

Two of my favorite things in the world are pattern and logic. I’m as Type-A as it comes. I like things ordered and organized (and color-coded, and filed, and labeled, and possibly laminated as well, you know, if you have the time.) People have teased me before about having some OCD tendencies, and they are probably speaking truth (Remember a few posts ago when I told you that my nickname for a while was the Binder Bitch? Yeah. I earned that. The hard way.)

So yes. I like organization and categories and most of all, I love logic. A lot. I need things to *make sense*. If A then B. Above just about everything else, I am rational. True, I’m also emotional and flighty and silly on occasion as well, but my default position is absolutely one of rational thought: Weigh it out and come to a conclusion.

I understand that this crazy order/ structure/ logic mindset is kinda weird for someone who was trained as a jazz musician and a teacher. I was always led to believe that going with the flow, being adaptable and unpredictable and spontaneous was the only way to really be successful (and not lose your mind.) And I had a fairly easy going family—there was structure, for sure, but we all just sorta went with it for the most part. And I guess that, generally, I’m pretty easy going as well…like a good laugh, like to hang out and go with the flow.

But not with my stuff. My STUFF must be organized (true story…my bookshelves [oh yes, plural] aren’t organized by year or alphabetically like some folks’ might be, but rather by topic, from top shelf to bottom shelf by relevance to what I’m working on at a given time. Stuff I don’t need lives on the top and bottom shelves…stuff I need to grab all the time, right there in the middle. Logical. Practical.)

All of this backchat is by way of saying I like logic and organization and pattern. And I really like looking for patterns in the madness of my life in order to help make sense of things. One of the longest running pattern theories I have is the “Theory of Even and Odd Years.” (It is in fact, important enough to have this official must-be-capitalized-and-put-in-quotation-marks title.)

It goes a little something like this: Categorically, the even numbered years of my life have ROCKED. My 14^th, 16^th and 18^th birthdays were AMAZING (and by far my most memorable.) 30 was incredible. 22 I graduated from college. 26 I moved out to Washington DC, to start the most amazing adventure-chapter of my life all on my own in the big city. Even years have been good to me.

On the other side, 15 was the beginning of my debilitating migraine headaches. 17 was my first (and only) car accident (and consequent hospital stay.) My 21^st birthday, I had the flu and was so sick I couldn’t leave the house for days. I was 25 when my mother passed away. I was 29 when I left my beloved Washington DC to start a new scary part of my life.

So yeah, this whole even/ odd year theory has held true for a good long while. And I’m not sure whether or not it is a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I always secretly brace myself for odd years, and look forward to the evens because of it.

But it occurs to me that recently this pattern has started to change. And for one who likes pattern, this is a bit unsettling.

Consider this: 2005 was the year I met J (though to very little ceremony at the time…) 2009 was the year I both got engaged and graduated with my PhD. Those are pretty amazing once-in-a-lifetime events, wouldn’t you agree? Soo many of my friends had really rough 2009s. On New Year’s Eve, everyone said things like “here’s to a much better year in 2010!!” I remember thinking to myself (embarrassed to say it out loud)…um, I become a doctor, landed a sweet job, and got engaged this year. I’m not sure how 2010 is gonna top that. (And additionally, I’m getting MARRIED in 2011. MARR-IED (two words) in an odd year.) So odd years…not so bad, yes? (And yet, somehow this is still unsettling…)

And then began 2010. And let me just say this, regardless of its number, it has been an extraordinarily odd year for me.

First, J goes off to serve and we are without one another for one.whole.year. I think that’s probably sufficient enough to call 2010 rough…but let me continue. Next, I have only my second trip *ever* to the hospital. This is followed by ugly job happenings and financial uncertainty and suddenly trying to make jobs magically appear from nowhere. And most recently, one of my closest girlfriends has moved away (I’ll miss you K!) To say it’s been a scary and lonely year of uncertainty and change, is pretty accurate for me. ( I wonder how much of that is manufactured drama through deployment eyes? Hmmm…)

But here’s the thing. I started thinking about my friends. And 2010 has been *incredible* for my closest friends- folks putting houses on the market (finally!), friends buying houses and moving to new adventures, getting great new jobs, having babies, getting pregnant, getting married, getting engaged, finding love. Seriously, for the people I love the most in the world, 2010 has been a banner year.

So maybe, I just loaned out my amazing even-yeared good fortune to the people that I love (you’re welcome.) Or perhaps, at 30 I made the switch to the ODD years being the good ones. Or maybe, during this time of deployment when things were bound to be crap for me, just getting to tacitly, vicariously be involved in the joy of those I love is what will make this year a good one for me after all, even if I don’t personally have a new notch on my belt.

Of course, it’s possible that all this even/ odd year business is a load of hooey. But my logical, ordered mind would rather think that in a very karmic sort of way, the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, for me and for all my friends, are going to eventually balance out, and become even for us all in the end. And that makes the oddness of this year, a little more bearable.