People

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About 8 months until the wedding

When I was in college, I took a learning styles test called the Gregorc or some such thing, a test that assessed how you perceived information, and then once you had acquired that info, how you ordered it for use. You answered a series of questions, choosing the words you thought sounded most like you. At the end you tallied your score and it remarkably told you ALL ABOUT YOU!…how you learn; the situations in which you thrive; and most importantly the situations in which you struggle.

At the time I took the test, I remember being so happy to finally find my fit. (Actually, I almost didn’t fit in a category as my score was so far skewed one way that I was nearly off the chart.) My designation, that of someone who was considered to be Abstract-Random (yes yes, you can laugh at that) seemed to fit me so well. I was someone who believed in making learning personal, having high morale, building and maintaining friendships, and who used the heart not the head to make choices. And what was I really good at? Listening to others, paying attention to broad themes and ideas, making sure that everyone stayed positive, that our feelings were all heard and that we all remained harmonious. That seems about right, or at least that was very true when I took the test for the first time.

Throughout the years I have taken that test about a half dozen more times. And as I age and grow and learn I find that I have changed in the way that I think and interact with others. Whereas I used to be so far skewed into the Abstract Random category (I lived on a cloud made of feelings…) I’m fairly even across the four quadrants now—having a good sense of how each learning type works and drawing from them all.

It’s amazing to me as I look back, having taken the test multiple times at different stages in my life that I can see at which times I might have answered the questions differently. I can see not only that I have changed, but when and in what ways. And often, I can even tie it back to a specific event in my life. It’s fascinating to me, this reflection. Because patterns begin to emerge.

Because I like patterns and reflection and figuring out the puzzle (sooo not Abstract Random of me!) I have always enjoyed personality tests and pop-psychology analysis like the Gregorc and the Myers Briggs. Now, the Myers Briggs has always confounded me. I have taken the Myers Briggs test, oh, I’m going to say 30 times in my life. And honestly, my score is completely dependent upon the day, which somehow seems weird to me. Shouldn’t I have a personality constant?!

For those of you who don’t know what Myers Briggs is, it is a personality test that scores the way you inherently gather, process and use information and helps you to figure out what a good profession might be (at least, this is how I have most often seen it used. I’m certain that it wasn’t designed solely as a vocational tool.) There are four categories with two possible designations in each: You are either an introvert or an extrovert; you are either intuitive or sensing; thinking or feeling; and judging or perceiving. And these four categories can be mixed and matched so that you end up as one of 16 possible personality types.

If you have ever met me (and even if you haven’t you can probably figure it out by now), you’ll not be surprised that there has never been a time I have taken this test and come out as an introvert. I’m pretty much across the board an extrovert. Duh. But in the other three categories, yet again, I fall pretty much right down the middle—as often able to see details as I am the overall patterns; pretty evenly split between making my decisions based on logic and based on emotion; and as able to make deliberative, definitive decisions as I am able to go with the flow and stay open to possibilities.

I will say though, that in my old age, I most frequently (even if only by a couple points, and even if only every two out of three times) end up as an ENFJ- which means I am an extrovert who can use intuition to gather info (it doesn’t always have to be concrete there in front of me) from an empathetic, humanitarian, holistic-type way, but who likes to solve problems: resolve it, check the box and move on.

According to research in the field, there’s only 2% of the population who falls into this category, and not remarkably, they are “teachers, having natural talent for leading students toward learning…they are capable of calling forth each learner's potentials, …to fire the imagination; their greatest strength lies in their belief in their students. They look for the best in their students, and communicate clearly that each one has untold potential, and this confidence can inspire their students to grow and develop more than they ever thought possible.”

Ha. Well then. Me as a teacher. Go figure.

So why am I talking about all this now?

Well, this week my new job asked me to take yet another of these sorts of tests so as to “figure out our office team dynamic.” This diagnostic is something we make all of our incoming associates take, and soon enough, I will be the one administering this test to others. So clearly, I was fascinated! My office mates and I sat down and tried to preliminarily guess what my Five Greatest Strengths would be. Some guessed empathy. Others guessed achievement. My boss thought one might be competition. Having very little faith in the static nature of my personality, I myself ventured no guesses. After a one hour, one hundred and some odd question test, what do you think we found out?

According to the Strengths Quest analysis, I am, in this order: Strategic, Individualistic, Connected, “Woo”, and Communicative. So what does that mean?

First and foremost, I ask “what if.” I play the mental game of chess with my life and all situations all day long. I see patterns in the clutter and tend to play out every possible scenario imaginable, create a pro/ con list, and act accordingly. (Um, have you been reading this blog? Right.) Second, I believe strongly in the power of the individual person. I take the time to know everything about everyone and act accordingly. I loathe stereotypes and take a great deal of pride in knowing the strengths of each person and playing toward them. (Yup.) Third. I am a connecter. I build bridges. I have a great deal of faith in a higher power and the idea that we are all in this together, connected for a greater overall purpose. We just have to find it and each other. And I’m here to help with that.

Fourth, I am “Woo” which stands for Winning Others Over. Basically, I like to make friends. No one is a stranger. I engage random people in conversation because I want to know them and I want them to like me. I am not intimidated by strangers or social settings. I am rarely at a loss for words.(Have we met?) And in that vein, fifth and finally, I am a communicator. I like words and images and phrases. I like word play and I take the time to choose my words carefully, especially when I want to call people to action. I thrive on inspiring others through my words.

I’m not sure if it’s because I am taking this test later in my life than the others, or if it is just that I haven’t had the opportunity to take it a second time and see if I have changed over time. But to me, this analysis seems the most accurate of all I have attempted, and encompasses all the ever-changing parts of the other tests I have taken.

So, in true Strategic form, I found myself asking, “Ok, so what does all this mean? What does it matter? Who cares? And what’s next?”

And it’s funny to me that now would be the time to ask that question. This week at work was the first one that I felt like I was really doing something good and interesting and worthwhile. And you know why? It was because of some really quality interactions that I had with my colleagues and my associates: Meaningful conversations, shared emotions, and listening to one another…getting to know one another on a deeper level as individuals.

If you’ll look closely, that is the one pattern that is consistent, constant in each iteration of all of these personality tests throughout all the years: I *need* to engage with people regularly and in meaningful ways.

So what is my personality constant? And what should I be doing with my life? Not that I needed this test to tell me (though it’s nice to be reassured) but it seems that teaching, caring, and communicating are at the core of who I am. And if I’m going to continue to have success at my new job, it is those traits that I must cultivate. (And though I have a strong distaste for Barbara Steisand generally), I guess that deep down these tests are revealing that on some level I truly do believe that people who need people *are* the luckiest people in the world. And if that’s the case, I am oh-so-blessed.