It all comes out in the wash

48 weeks left (one month down)
? pounds lost this week
45 pounds left (last week’s total)
17(ish) months until the wedding

So first, let me say this: It’s not that I didn’t weigh myself this week, it’s that I just can’t justify recording it. I’m just finishing day three of uber sick, to include such hits as a middle of the night ER visit, vomiting my brains out, and two full days of crackers and water and jello as my primary sources of nourishment. I’m positive that I’ve dropped some serious pounds this week…and that it totally shouldn’t count…and that I’ll probably just gain them back next week when I actually eat something solid again. So…basically…this week was a wash. Stay tuned.

In fact, this whole week, in just about every regard, has been a wash.

It was that way at work- had a couple ok days- several good things got accomplished. Teaching is always good. But man…overall I was tired and lazy and didn’t really get much done this week. (Gotta do better next week.)

I was (as was evidenced by my mid-week crisis post) kinda blue and feeling a little bit lost. And I know NOW that I was on the verge of really sick, which makes the lethargy and feeling of “offness” (it’s a word…) make some sense.

And let’s talk about the existential crisis that comes with being in an ER all night. Goodness. I saw some really sick people. This made me very sad and grateful I was no worse off than I was. I got to watch about 5 ambulances come through with alcohol-poisoned under-aged college morons (on a Thursday night, no less.) This did not make me sad. I was marginally irritated with a little candy-striper (they don’t wear stripes anymore, by the way) who was assigned to me (because I was there by myself and I think they felt sorry for me) and who kept coming by every 20 minutes to see if I needed anything (since, as she felt the need to remind me every time she popped in with that sad look on her face, that I was, in fact, there alone. Thanks. I got it sister. I know she was just doing her job, but…I was not feeling like making conversation at that point. And P.S. What could I have needed? A cheeseburger? A stiff drink? A puppy? Maybe I should have tested those limits a little bit. Coulda kept me entertained.)

Under the influence of some heavy drugs, I watched an episode of my frat-guys ghost-hunting show (the one that is completely ridiculous, and that J hates. And J’s totally right…it’s bad…but even worse at 1 in the morning in an emergency room by yourself on drugs.) Additionally, everyone should watch at least one episode, at least one time in their life, of Family Guy whilst hopped up on morphine. Comic genius. And totally surreal.

But as I reflected on the week I realized, in the grand scheme of all of it, everything turned out just fine. I’m perfectly healthy (now). They (as J so lovingly put it) “got a chance to take a look under the hood and find out everything was humming just fine.” (I love my fiancée.) Scary, yes. Costly, probably. But in the end, everything is A-ok. And to be honest, it was a little reassuring. I had quite a few pretty intense tests that I never would have had otherwise, and all of them pointed to perfect health.

So I guess I should feel lucky- I’m traveling a lot this time of year (have been gone for the last two weekends and will be traveling for the next two as well.) At least this happened when I was at home and not on the road or in an airplane. This weekend I actually had some downtime to let myself sleep and heal and rest. Coulda been worse. So much worse. But it wasn’t. And it never is.

I was supposed to clean the house this weekend because it is filthy. It will have to wait. And that’s ok. (I’m learning some patience when my schedule goes awry.)

I was supposed to do laundry this weekend. This cannot wait. (Welcome to my tomorrow).

There was an episode of Seinfeld once where Jerry said that he’s the guy that everything sorta comes out even for in the end. If one bad thing happens, one good thing comes along right after and balances it out. I’ve always felt exactly that same way. It seems like whenever something bad happens, there’s always something good that comes on its heels. Everything balances out, even-Steven in the end.

And so, I’m fairly confident that I can just throw this week out and be done with it. There are gonna be weeks like this. But next week, it will be better. And in the end, it’ll all play out just fine, and the bad will just come out in the wash.