One of my dearest friends is a manager of risk.
Well, that’s not entirely true. Her resume doesn’t say risk management. But that’s the essence of what she does. She scans the landscape, looking for even the littlest inkling of there being “something on the horizon” that she’d have to react to if it happened. It’s even better if she has the foresight to react *BEFORE* the thing happens. There’s where she makes the big bucks.
Sometimes she gets paid not to react at all. Sometimes, her
oft missed-by-others “reaction”, is no reaction: to stay the hell put. And it
takes many professional years to learn the difference. The do something v.
don’t do something struggle is real, and requires experience, insight,
intuition and some significant confidence in yourself.
But even she will say that at the point at which there are
2983742 different “littlest inklings” on the horizon, that you’re compelled to
act. Even if it might be easier to sit still. Even if you could probably ride
out the impending storm by hunkering down. Even if you have almost as many
reasons to not do anything at all. Sometimes you’ve just gotta move, even if it
is just for the sake of proving that you still know how.
You can’t build much of a professional reputation by being
the guy that disappears into the bunker every time there’s a storm approaching.
There’s a difference between being risk averse and being scared.
Let me say this: She and I are unlikely friends.
We approach life from the opposite ends of the spectrum in almost
all scenarios. I’m the train leaving Philadelphia going 200 miles per hour; she
the train leaving Kansas City at 75 miles per hour. But in the end, we almost
always end up meeting somewhere along interstate 70 around Indianapolis for a
cocktail.
It’s not easy being the 200 mile-per-hour train. Most of the
time, I push forward, full steam ahead (sometimes, I don’t even realize I’m
doing it) and then sort of figure it out as I go along. Once I realize I’ve put
myself on the Maglev, I sorta shrug and say “Huh. Look at that. Ok, how am I
going to make this work?” I don’t necessarily leap before I look. More times
than not, I look around and say “Wait, did I just leap?” and find myself on a
path I didn’t mean to be on doing things I didn’t anticipate doing.
And let me say that for the most part this has been the
bedrock of an awesome life. If I had realized I was jumping all those times,
there’s a solid chance I wouldn’t have done it. (I’m stupider than I am brave.)
I got a pretty big dose of that this week. A series of
*seriously* random events, over which I have no control, and which I could have
never predicted, afforded me conversations with people I never would have had
access to, saying things I never even knew I felt (until I
out-of-body-experience heard them coming from my mouth.) This has most likely
set me about a brand-new path which I had neither prepared for nor had planned for
or had even articulated an interest in before that very moment. (Guess I
accidentally leaped…again.)
I legit said at out loud *several* times this week “Wow, I
guess that just happened.” (Also a frequent repeat of “I probably shouldn’t have said that…” and the ever
apropos “Is this real life?”)
But friends, it looks like I leaped straight from the
platform right onto the speeding train.
For better or worse, I’m going to need to strap in.
My friend is likewise on the brink of transition right now.
She has these amazing ideas and so much potential for a “what’s next.” And yet, right
now she’s staring down all the perceived obstacles in her way. All the reasons
to hunker down and try to ride out the storm. Or to make a 10-year plan to have
this all happen later-on when there might be less risk.
And I get it. That’s the part of me I wish I had a little
more of sometimes. I need that perspective in my life (this is why we’re
unlikely, but awesome friends. Balance, people. Balance.)
But at one point this week she said to me, “There are just
so many little things, I feel like I can’t ignore the signs anymore. I think
I’ve got to do this!”
In my mind (and often out loud, if I'm honest...) I said to her, “OF COURSE
YOU HAVE TO DO THIS!!!! Why the hell are you waiting for all these signs from
the universe? Get on the damn train, already. This isn’t the Polar Express. There’s
no magical ticket (also no Tom Hanks.) And contrary to popular opinion, it's unlikely to get easier later.”
And then of course I’m reminded what she does for a living. Her mind is hardwired to mitigate risk. And
And then of course I’m reminded what she does for a living. Her mind is hardwired to mitigate risk. And
this new path with her is a road full of pretty sizeable, potential-risk
potholes. It’s in these moments I’m reminded how we’re such different beings on
so many levels. And I forget that I'm the kid barreling down the tracks headed towards St.
Elmo’s for a Manhattan. And that she's MORE than one had to scrape my million-miles-per-hour, splattered-on-the-road ass up off the highway.
I just don’t want her to miss happy hour, you know?
Our conversations got me thinking about why it is that we so
often feel like we need a sign before we act. So many of us choose not to rely
on our gut or the market landscape or research (or the writing on the wall…) before
we make our move. We wait for some magical, cannot-be-ignored, from on-high
moment to make our path seem inevitable and sure.
I’m here to tell you friends: That shit doesn’t happen very
often. I think we’d all do well to learn to let our gut guide us a little more. We're smarter than we give ourselves credit for, I think. Most of us have figured out how we tick, and like my friend does professionally, when to hunker down, and when to move. It takes courage to take the
chance that seems ridiculous in that very moment.
I’m not here to say that proceeding without a plan (like I
often do) is the smart or safe path. The number of times I’ve scrambled and
struggled and fallen flat on my ass is more than I care to count. I would
likely have benefited from at least a little more forethought on several notable
occasions.
But you know what? My intuition has never failed me. Not once. Even
when I totally failed.
One of my favorite, annual reads is The Alchemist. I feel
like it speaks to me because I have always
subscribed to its moral: When you’re on the path to achieving your
personal destiny, all the world conspires to help along the way. What a
freeing thought. If you’re doing the right thing, help will appear when you
need it.
As naive as that may sound, I guess I’ve
always just assumed that I was doing the right thing (whatever “right” means…) because it has always seemed like I had help
when I needed it most—If I was supposed to move forward with something, help always
appeared. If it was an uphill, horrible struggle that I had no support with, I
could move along without much regret, trusting in the thought that it was time to shuffle along.
So maybe that’s it. It’s in the recognition of the help all
around you—When you finally realize you have all the support (and motivation)
necessary to do what you know in your gut you *have* to do. Maybe that’s the magical
“sign” we need. Or better still, the sign which appears... when we're ready to see it.
But I would say this: There ain’t a sign in the universe bigger than the core of your person knowing that you’ve GOT to do something. You don’t need anyone else to tell you that. And once you’ve recognized it, there are no more excuses. Get on the train already.
But I would say this: There ain’t a sign in the universe bigger than the core of your person knowing that you’ve GOT to do something. You don’t need anyone else to tell you that. And once you’ve recognized it, there are no more excuses. Get on the train already.
My husband is fond of saying that if you go looking for
meaning in something, you’ll likely find it there. And I think that’s true to a
great degree. So here it is. Time to look up. Take notice of the the supports around you. Take a deep breath, examine your gut, and leap (ahem, you know who you are…)
Here’s your sign.
The universe and your support system are all ready for your
greatness.
And me? I’ll meet you in Indy, regardless of how long it takes us to get there.